A14343 If I were in BN's place and received a call and a request from you, I would first ask myself a question, "Can I help the caller?" The obv ious answer is "NO" Nothing that he or anyone else could say at this time can change you and your thinking. The simple answer to the problem is to find enough DD that you can accept that will help you make a decision to change and build your future on that. Hope you do that. James.