You Know You Really are From Oklahoma if ...
1. It doesn't bother you one bit to use airports named
for 2 men who died in the same grisly plane crash.
2. You can properly pronounce all of the following,
and without laughing: Eufaula, Pushmataha, Okemah,
Tishomingo, Wapanucka, and Chickasha.
3. You know that the true value of a parking space is
determined not by the distance to the door, but
rather by the availability of shade.
4. You readily understand the difference between 3.2
and 6.0 beer, and know what a "beer run" to another
state is.
5. A tornado warning siren is not necessarily cause for
alarm. (It's usually just your signal to go out in
the yard and look for the funnel. Fun for the whole
family.)
6. You are 100% Okie if you've ever had this conversation
with a friend: "Y'all wanna Coke?" "Sure." "What kind
ya want?" "Dr. Pepper."
7. You've used at least 4 of the following 8 words/
expressions in daily conversation: "reckon" "plumb"
(e.g., "plumb stove up," "plumb fed up," "plumb sick
and tired,"etc.) "Howdy" "Fixin' to" "See y'all later"
(alt., "Y'all behave yourselves!") "Gol-durn" "Dag-
nab-it"
8. You understand at least 5 of the 10 following concepts
and expressions: Dry County, The B.C. Clark Christmas
jingle, "Once saved, always saved.", "Useful as tits
on a boar hog.", "Go Sooners!", "Shoot far (fire) and
save the matches!", Liquor-by-the-Drink, Vacation Bible
School, Peppered cream gravy on everything, please,
Ma'am, "Just open all the windows and git in the bath-
tub."
9. You know how to identify at least 5 varieties of veno-
mous snakes on sight.
10. You understand that Oklahoma is a Southern, Southwestern,
and Midwestern state - all at once. This is not a contra-
diction in your mind.
11. The local paper quickly covers national and international
headlines on the front page but requires 6 pages for
sports and 2 pages for local church news.
12. You know more than one woman who has used an O.U. foot-
ball schedule to plan her wedding date.
13. You don't find it in the least bit odd to see "chicken
fried chicken" on a menu.
14. You know the difference between "Durant" and "Doo-rant,"
and you also know which state has a "Mia-muh," and which
has a "Mia-mee."
15. You remember the profligate wealth of the Oil Boom, and
you fervently pray for those days to return.
16. A BMW is not nearly the status symbol that a Ford F350
4x4 is.
17. You go fishing for catfish using sticks of dynamite.
18. You know all 4 seasons by heart: Tornado, Summer, Still
Summer, and Christmas.
19. You know exactly what calf fries are, and you eat them
anyway
20. You can't always remember which year your sweet Mama was
born, but you can rattle off the years of all the
"terrible hot" summers in your lifetime lickety-split.
21. You go fishing and you catch.... a 5 foot long, 190lb
gar (half fish/ half alligator)
22. You go hunting during deer season, you go hunting after/
before deer season.
23. You sit down on a log while hunting and the logs moves...
it is an alligator.
24. You have driven on Garth Brooks Blvd in Yukon, Oklahoma.
25. You have been in one year to a peanut festival, onion
burger festival, strawberry festival, watermellon fest-
ival, Chech festival.
26. You have been to a real rodeo, heck they are free and
the riders are local folk.
27. Men are judged by the size of their belt buckle.
28. Women are judged either by their apple pie or how their
jeans fit.
29. A man can get hitched wearing Roper boots, jeans, cowboy
shirt, and a stetson hat and drive off in a 4x4 350 pick-
up to honeymoon in Gotebo, Oklahoma.
30. Where else can you live in towns like Hooker, Beaver,
Pink, Bowlegs.
The clincher: You understand all the jokes above
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