Replies to post #113519 on Rants and Raves

[teapeebubbles]

oh my paybacks r hell

[teapeebubbles]

This little girl runs into her house, tears running down her face. She races up to her mother and says,

"Mum, Mum, can I have a glass of cider?"

"Why on earth do you want cider?" asks her confused and concerned mother.

"To take the pain away," sobs the little girl.

Obviously the mother refuses, but the girl keeps on crying and eventually her mother pours her a glass of cider in an attempt to shut her up. The little girl grabs the glass and immediately puts her hand into it.

"It doesn't work," screams the little girl.

"What do you mean?" asks her mother.

"Well," sniffs the little girl, "I overheard my sister, cenote, saying that whenever she gets a prick in her hand she can't wait to get it in cider."

[teapeebubbles]

A big-rig operator stopped to pick up a girl hitchhiker wearing REALLY short shorts.
"Say, What's your name, mister?" she inquired, after she climbed up in the truck.
"It's Snow----Roy Snow," he answered, "and what's yours?"
"Me, I'm June----June Hansen," she said.
After a short while she asked, "Hey, why do you keep sizing me up with those sidelong glances?"

"Can you imagine what it might be like," he countered,
"...having eight inches of Snow in June?"

[teapeebubbles]

Women think they already know everything, but wait...training courses are now available for women on the following subjects:

1. Silence, the Final Frontier: Where No Woman Has Gone Before
2. The Undiscovered Side of Banking: Making Deposits
3. Parties: Going Without New Outfits
4. Man Management: Minor Household Chores Can Wait Till After The Game
5. Bathroom Etiquette I: Men Need Space in the Bathroom Cabinet Too.
6. Bathroom Etiquette II: His Razor is His
7. Communication Skills I: Tears - The Last Resort, not the First.
8. Communication Skills II: Thinking Before Speaking
9. Communication Skills III: Getting What you Want Without Nagging
10. Driving a Car Safely: A Skill You CAN Acquire
11. Telephone Skills: How to Hang Up
12. Introduction to Parking
13. Advanced Parking: Backing Into a Space
14. Water Retention: Fact or Fat
15. Cooking I: Bringing Back Bacon, Eggs and Butter
16. Cooking II: Bran and Tofu are Not for Human Consumption
17. Cooking III: How not to Inflict Your Diets on Other People
18. Compliments: Accepting Them Gracefully
19. PMS: Your Problem . . . Not His
20. Dancing: Why Men Don't Like To
21. Classic Clothing: Wearing Outfits You Already Have
22. Household Dust: A Harmless Natural Occurrence Only Women Notice
23. Integrating Your Laundry: Washing It All Together
24. Oil and Gas: Your Car Needs Both
25. TV Remotes: For Men

[teapeebubbles]

Q. Why do women have orgasms?
A. It gives them one extra reason to moan.