David Letterman's Top Ten Signs That the Guy Mugging You Has Never Mugged Before...
10. After taking money, asks you if you want a receipt.
9. In addition to wearing a ski mask, he's got skis and poles.
8. Asks you to hold his gun while he puts on some ChapStick.
7. When he's done, he says, "That was fun! Now you mug me!"
6. You're a police officer in fulluniform standing right in front of the station house surrounded by fellow officers with assault rifles.
5. When you yell, "Stop, thief," he does.
4. During police line-up, he waves to you and shouts, "Remember me?"
3. Tells you he wouldn't be doing this if Love Boat hadn't been canceled.
2. He keeps saying, "You understand I'm doing this for the baby and Marla."
1. He Accepts IOUs.
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