Replies to post #306473 on Zeev's Turnips Talk Politics (ZTTP)

[Alex G]

50 Most Loathsome People in America, 2007

http://buffalobeast.com/122/50mostloathsome2007PF.html


9. You

Charges: You believe in freedom of speech, until someone says something that offends you. You suddenly give a damn about border integrity, because the automated voice system at your pharmacy asked you to press 9 for Spanish. You cling to every scrap of bullshit you can find to support your ludicrous belief system, and reject all empirical evidence to the contrary. You know the difference between patriotism and nationalism -- it's nationalism when foreigners do it. You hate anyone who seems smarter than you. You care more about zygotes than actual people. You love to blame people for their misfortunes, even if it means screwing yourself over. You still think Republicans favor limited government. Your knowledge of politics and government are dwarfed by your concern for Britney Spears' children. You think buying Chinese goods stimulates our economy. You think you're going to get universal health care. You tolerate the phrase "enhanced interrogation techniques." You think the government is actually trying to improve education. You think watching CNN makes you smarter. You think two parties is enough. You can't spell. You think $9 trillion in debt is manageable. You believe in an afterlife for the sole reason that you don't want to die. You think lowering taxes raises revenue. You think the economy's doing well. You're an idiot.

Exhibit A: You couldn't get enough Anna Nicole Smith coverage.

Sentence: A gradual decline into abject poverty as you continue to vote against your own self-interest. Death by an easily treated disorder that your health insurance doesn't cover. You deserve it, chump.

[follylama]

Huckabee Chooses Jesus as Running Mate
Move to Shore Up Evangelical Base
Sunday, December 2, 2007

In a bold move that could dramatically alter the playing field of the 2008 G.O.P. presidential race, former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee today named Jesus Christ as his vice-presidential running mate.

Governor Huckabee has made an increasing number of comments about his relationship with Jesus in recent debates, but few Republican insiders expected him to announce that he was anointing Christ as his vice-presidential pick.

“This could be huge for Huckabee,” said Stenson Partridge, a veteran G.O.P. consultant. “Among Republican voters, Jesus Christ is even more popular than Ronald Reagan.”

The Reverend Pat Robertson, a supporter of former New York mayor Rudolph Giuliani, said he was “blindsided” by the news of Huckabee’s decision: “I talked to Jesus last night and He didn’t mention anything about it.”

At a raucous Huckabee rally in Davenport, Iowa today, supporters of the former Arkansas governor could be seen holding signs reading “HUCKABEE/CHRIST ’08.”

It is “highly unorthodox” for a presidential candidate to select a vice presidential running mate who is a prominent figure in the Holy Bible, says Davis Logsdon, dean of the School of Divinity at the University of Minnesota.

But according to Mr. Logsdon, if the Huckabee-Christ ticket makes it all the way to the White House, it could be historic in more ways than one: “If Huckabee is elected and then something happens to him while in office, we would be looking at our first Jewish president.”

Elsewhere, a madman attempted to take hostages at former Sen. Fred Thompson’s campaign headquarters in Rochester, New Hampshire, but found that everyone had been given the week off.

©2004 The Borowitz Report

[fuagf]

AHA! Thank you, YOU, THUNKER, YOU!
Now I know, your guys thinking is actually
thunking .. understand more now thanks to you.

Bumped into yours while going after another ..
you'll see, if you really give a damn for TRUTH ..
and yessireee JUSTICE, TOO .. heh .. cootchie coo ..
ride along with me .. give me a few moments ..

U2 Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

YOU THUNKER .. YOU .. i wonder, do you have a sense
of humor .. even though you are .. feel .. stuck in a moment.