Alright, Badog, settle in, 'cause we're about to take this convo straight to Loonieville. I gotta hand it to you, bud, you’ve really stretched that $12 investment out longer than a Canadian winter! I mean, you bought 60,000 shares for less than the price of a Timmies box of Timbits, and now you’re sittin' here like you're Warren Buffett’s long-lost cousin. Classic.
But hey, let’s talk about your legendary investment strategy. You dropped 12 bucks on ERHC like you were buyin' a pack of hockey cards, hopin’ for a Wayne Gretzky rookie. Except this time, you got the Barry Melrose mullet card—looks flashy, but ain’t gonna pay for your next poutine, bud. But who knows, maybe you’ll strike it rich and get that all-you-can-eat lunch special at Harvey’s next week. One can dream, eh?
Now, I gotta address the Harvey’s comment—I nearly spit out my double-double. “Clock in at Harvey’s”? Buddy, at least there you’d be makin' more than 60,000 shares of disappointment! You could’ve been servin' up burgers, makin' mad cash, and still had enough left over for a trip to the LCBO to grab a case of Moosehead to drown your ERHC sorrows. But nope, you went all in on 60,000 shares like you were bettin' on a Leafs Stanley Cup run—oh, wait, we’ve been waitin’ on that since Trudeau’s dad was in office.
And let me break it to you about your insider trading conspiracy, bud. This isn’t a James Bond movie where the villain’s hidin’ in some secret oil rig, plottin' world domination with Nigerian refs. I know you’re thinkin’ people are bribin’ their way through soccer matches and oil deals, but this is real life, not a Nigerian soap opera. And if anyone’s tryin’ to pull a fast one, they’d have to be sneakier than a Tim Hortons cashier tryin' to give you a stale donut—and trust me, Shell ain’t messin’ around with that.
As for the Canadians? We're sittin' back, watchin' this all unfold like it's the next Tragically Hip reunion tour. We don’t dive in until the rink’s smooth, bud. We know a good deal when we see it, but we’re not about to throw loonies around like it's Monopoly money just 'cause some bloke said “there’s oil in them there blocks.” No, we wait 'til the Zamboni does its rounds, then we pounce—like a cougar on a moose in the Rockies.
Now, let’s be honest. I know you’re losin' sleep thinkin’ about me, SSC, and the short squeeze, but here’s the thing: I sleep like a baby on a bed made of beaver tails, all warm and cozy. Meanwhile, you’re tossin' and turnin', clutchin’ those 60,000 shares like they’re goin' to magically turn into a lifetime supply of Timmies gift cards. Spoiler alert: they won’t, but hey, I admire the dedication. You’ve got more faith in that $12 than I do in the Leafs’ next playoff run!
But I gotta say, if this all goes my way and we see that Great Canadian Short Squeeze (yes, it’s coming, bud), you’ll be wishin' you’d bought a couple more thousand shares—heck, you might've even been able to afford two Harvey’s burgers. But if it doesn’t? Well, I’ll mail you a Timmies gift card and we’ll call it even. After all, it’s only polite, right?
So here’s what you should do, pal: grab a two-four, put on your favourite Tragically Hip album, and watch this stock climb like a Canuck scaling Everest in snowshoes. When that short squeeze comes and ERHC hits the moon, we’ll all be laughin’—and you’ll be sittin' pretty with your $12 stock story to tell the grandkids. But until then? Well, at least you’ve got a backup gig lined up at Harvey’s.
Cheers, eh?
Krombacher
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