Take an unusually weak mind, surgically remove evolution’s hard-won capacity to tell fact from fiction, fill the empty spaces with hate, and you’ve got Marjorie Taylor Greene. Drop that mind in the middle of the I-know-we’re-not-supposed-to-dismiss-MAGA-whites-as-racist-hillbillies-but-COME-ON shithole known as the Georgia 14th, and you’ve got the dumbest, most malicious member of the United States Congress, and ascendant American fascism’s loudest, vilest mouth.
Of all the shitty, shitty humans called to politics by the squalid toll of Trumpism, Marj might just be the shittiest, and she works with a child molester, an unapologetic white nationalist, and Gym Jordan.
Taylor Greene’s claim to fame is that she believes every single conspiracy theory, no matter how batshit, automatically, unquestioningly, and with all the certainty of a suicide bomber. Every. Single Time. In fact, we usually only hear about the latest coronavirus miracle cure, or “Joe Biden feeds Christian babies to his dogs every Wednesday at 3:15 as a ritual sacrifice to George Soros” in the first place because this dizzy twit once again used her platform as, one more time, a UNITED STATES REPRESENTATIVE to share it.
I’m not fucking kidding. Pizzagate, QAnon, school-shootings-are-false-flags, JEWISH FUCKING SPACE LASERS. She thought there was A) a Jewish conspiracy to B) start wildfires by C) SHOOTING MOTHERFUCKING LASER BEAMS FROM OUTER SPACE. She thought that happened, in real life. She thought that’s just where wildfires come from: space lasers. Jewish ones.
Still, if you set aside her boundless gullibility, she really isn’t so b-JUST KIDDING Marjorie Taylor Greene is most definitely in the Worst Human Alive conversation. I can neither recall nor imagine any human failing she does not possess in abundance.
She is racist enough to make Jeff Sessions blush. She associates almost exclusively with monsters. She lies, not just like a rug, but like a rug other rugs would agree was unusually dishonest. She is too fucking stupid to grasp the concept of Guam. And what’s truly, madly, deeply fucked up is, we haven’t even addressed her worst quality yet.
Because what Marjorie really wants is blood. Democrats’ blood generally, Nancy Pelosi’s specifically. Your blood and mine, spilled in the streets if necessary, though obviously, the spectacle of public executions is preferred.
Point is, it’s violence she’s after. She got stripped of her committee assignments, for the very good reason that she kept inciting violence targeting her colleagues. Regrettably, that wound up being a “strike me down, and I shall become more obnoxious than you can possibly imagine” kind of situation; that maniac didn’t come to Washington to make laws, she came to terrorize her political opponents.
And it would be so awesome if I were recklessly overstating shit by using words like “terror” and “terrorist,” but don’t forget, the very first stunt she pulled upon assuming power was relentlessly harassing Democrat Cori Bush until she was forced to move to a different office.
“See,” she’s telling every disaffected loser flirting with the notion of joining the Proud Boys, “You want results, make ‘em feel unsafe. Make ‘em afraid.” It’s…literally what terrorism is.
You’ll notice she makes a lot of threats. I suggest you take them seriously; she means every word.
For someone who says and does so much profoundly weird shit, it’s actually pretty difficult to make jokes about Marjorie Taylor Greene, because what she is a straight-up American Nazi. A Nazi clown, sure, but still a Nazi. The Naziest Nazi* in the gettin’-Nazier-all-the-dang-time House Nazi Caucus, and she makes Kevin McCarthy jump through hoops like a trained goddamn seal. Sleep tight.
*If it’s any consolation, Congressman Gosar, it was really, really close.
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