A shareholder letter would be more along the lines of a “Dear John” letter.
“Dearest shareholders, I know you are over seas risking life and limb for our futures, but I needed some diq and the neighbor boy who got immunity from being drafted because he was in university has begun to court me. He takes me to the funnest places and his new flathead v8 ford is all of the rage. I will always love you deep down.”
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