It's called waking up each day, try living 70 years, that alone was great. You just can't wake up being afraid, it's time you take responsibility for yourself.
You seem to smack your own head a lot. Is that how you got your contretemps brain injury? Quit posting unsubstantiated troll detritus as you are unable to back up any of your crap assertions with factual information.
Weak troll effort, like many shitgibbon disciples, reality slides right by you and you miss it, replaced by your fantasies.