Why can't you just accept yourself and the decision you made during those turbulent times. My change was trying to understand my cousin's death, and the terrible treatment he received as a returning veteran. Even worse was learning to accept that if you had wealth and an old family name that Vietnam was never going to be apart of your life. I still had another two years of trying to understand how my life was going to change. When you are young, you think you know, until you discover the world is moving in a different direction. Life is not always simple, it's a learning process, changing direction is just part of the process.