greg s,
As for your grammatical corection, "If I was Elmer" is indeed correct as the comparison is singular and the singular verb should be correctly used. "If I were Elmer" is often commonly used, but the use does not make it correct.
Sometimes the rules of grammar are in dispute - one of the wonderful things about a living language. In such situations I fall back on the advice freely given many times by William Safire: If it sounds funny, don't use it.
To my ear, if I was Elmer sounds funny. One has to accept if I were Elmer to be a valid exception to the rule. Here is why:
There is actually a subtle usage distinction - they don't mean the same thing. If I was Elmer describes a state in which the speaker was Elmer in the past, but isn't Elmer currently, as in Abigail Van Buren was Dear Abby, but the title passed on to a new writer after Ms. Van Buren's death.
If I were Elmer is used for the situation where the identity held in the past continues to the present.
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