Nine Important Facts to Remember as You Grow Older
#9 Death is the number 1 killer in the world.
#8 Life is sexually transmitted.
#7 Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
#6 Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky panky, and they can't tell
them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich.
#5 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day.
Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks,
months, maybe years.
#4 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday,
lying in the hospital, dying of nothing.
#3 All of us could take a lesson from the weather.
It pays no attention to criticism.
#2 In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal.
#1 Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers.
What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow.
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