Cruz & Rubio Battle to Become the Next Jeb Bush February 26, 2016
With 140-million-dollar-failure Jeb Bush out of the presidential race, Senators Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz used Thursday’s CNN debate to take his place as the guy who ferociously punches the spray-tanned Teflon tower that is Donald Trump… and then has to ice down a broken hand.
Rubio burst out of the gate with a forceful defense of “the conservative movement” that must have greatly resonated with whichever National Review editor wrote it for him. He spent the rest of the evening encouraging Republicans to resist their urges to attend Trump University and instead spend their time googling Polish construction workers.
Cruz, meanwhile, dismissed Trump’s general election prospects, arguing that he’s failed the key criterion of being utterly despised by one’s colleagues. The Texas senator then championed himself as the only candidate who could adequately protect Israel without being able to correctly pronounce its name.
Third-tier candidates Ben Carson and John Kasich did little to change existing perceptions. Kasich is still the guy who’d remind everyone of Jack Kemp if any present-day Republican knew who Jack Kemp was. And speaking of the Kemp era, Carson remains stuck in the role of most black men of that period: sometimes seen, rarely heard, and inexplicably scripted to say lines like “If Uncle Joe is smoking like a chimney, everyone’s going to hide his cigarettes” while the others politely laugh.
Now the debate has passed. The next time you hear from these men, on the evening of Super Tuesday, some will be spinning a 7% poll result as good news. Some, like Jeb Bush before them, will be biting their lips and suspending their campaigns. And some — but mostly likely just one — will spend the evening boasting about his beautiful wife, his gun-toting sons, and his love of the poorly educated. And, at that point, pretty much be nominated.
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