Replies to post #670 on Sons And Daughters Of BBCMF with Redneck Comedy, C

[teapeebubbles]

thx hun ;)

[teapeebubbles]

You Just Might Be a Redneck IF:



Your standard of living improves when you go camping



Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens



You have jacked up your home to look for a dog



You have a relative living in your garage



Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer



There is a belch on your answering machine greeting



You have rebuilt a carburetor while sitting on the commode



None of the tires on your van are the same size



You hold the hood of your car with your head while you work on it



Your idea of getting lucky is passing the emissions test



Your town put the new garbage truck in the Christmas parade



Your local beauty salon also fixes cars



Your doghouse and your living room have the same shag carpet



You've ever slow danced in the Waffle House (This has got to be my favorite!!)



Starting your car involves popping the hood



Your garbage man is confused about what goes and what stays



You whistle at women in church



You've been in a fistfight at a yard sale



You've ever used duct tape to repair dental work



You've unstopped a sink with a shotgun



Your will states your wife can't touch your money 'till she's fourteen



You have to pass through a metal detector to get to a family reunion



Your coffee table is also a cooler



Your mailing address includes the word "Holler"



The first time you ever saw your wife in lingerie, you had to pay a

cover charge



You've sold a car to settle a bar tab



The best sofa you ever had came out of a Chevrolet



You've ever used your bathtub as a punch bowl



If you have ever been accused of lying through your tooth



If you have ever used a barstool as a walker

[teapeebubbles]

Redneck Jedi

Your Jedi robe is a Camouflage color.
You have ever used your Light Saber to open a bottle of Boone's Farm Strawberry Hill
You think the best use of your light saber is picking your teeth.
At least one wing of your X-Wing is primer colored!!!
There is a blaster rack in the back of your landspeeder
You have bantha horns on the front of your landspeeder
You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok
You can find no grammatical errors in the way Yoda talks
You think that Stormtroopers are just KKK members with really good sheets
A peaceful meditation session is one without gas
You can levitate yourself using a force from within, but not THE FORCE
Your master ever said "My finger you will pull..hmmm?"
You have ever had an X-wing up on blocks in your yard.
You ever lost a hand during a light-saber fight because you had tospit.
The worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.
Wookies are offended by your B.O.
You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.
You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing/bowling.
You have ever used a light-sabre to clean fish or open a non-twist-off bottle of beer.
Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over t' the dark side...it'll be a hoot."
You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the bar-b-q grill to light.