(The scene -- IH Admin [Dan] sits in a rocking chair by a crackling fire. He is surrounded by doe-eyed freebies sitting on the floor who look up at him with sad but hopeful gazes.)
Dan: Every day, on boards all over Ihub, thousands of freebies struggle to stretch out the meager 15 posts they are allotted only to eventually succumb to the unimaginable horror of "Posts Remaining Today: 0."
(Dan reaches out and begins to pet the head of a person who is a dead ringer for DiCaprio's "Arnie" in What's Eating Gilbert Grape.)
Dan: This is pennyMasterblaster, a young man born without the ability to punctuate or count to 15. And sadder still, he is a freebie who was forced to create a second alias when his post quiver became empty.
And yet for only 28 cents a day -- or about the cost of 155 shares of QASP -- he could have posted like an infuriating IRP-bot all day long and gone to bed with fingers that were tired but happy.
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking what about Sarah McLachlan's sad puppies and kittens or blubbering Laurie Metcalf's kids named Alex in Botswana?
But let me ask you, how are they more important than scam Canadian drilling stocks or fraudulent pot stocks? After all, pumpers and bashers are people too. Kind of. More or less.
For over 13 years, we at Increase the Post Count have worked tirelessly to insure that every penniless, airheaded piker who can create an alias can post all day, every day. Content is immaterial.
Won't you find it in your heart to help pennyMasterblaster (penny gives Dan that dopey Arnie grin) or one of the thousands like him?
For just 28 cents a day -- yes, a mere 28 cents -- you can change the life of an alias and increase our page views. Please call or write today. Thank you.
AI
