The American Liberal
So, what is an American liberal? It would be easy to define him, or her, as a person who advocates a strong central government with powers to control the economic activities of the nation, a government that exercises, as its main function, the redistribution of wealth. Or putting it more clearly, a government that takes money from those that have it and gives it to those that don't. This definition is accurate as far as it goes. The American liberal is what the rest of the world calls a socialist. But that definition would fall short of the mark; it would be quite incomplete; it would fail to do justice to the American liberal breed. Yes, the American liberal is a socialist. But he is much more than that. Over the last fifty years or so this creature has evolved into a completely different species of human, with unique characteristics, views, and attitudes on every aspect of human endeavors that differentiates him, or her, from the rest of the normal Homo sapiens. The liberal creature sees the world, and everything in it, politics, economy, science, art, education, food, and all the rest differently. Above all, he sees himself as quite different from ordinary people. Let's put this creature under the microscope and see what we find. For convenience, I will refer to the creature as a "he." But everything I will say applies equally to both sexes.
The most salient characteristic of the American liberal is his elitist, snobbish, petulant nature. He considers himself a suave and cultured individual. He is chic, sophisticated, often sarcastic. These airs feed into his ego and make him a dangerous individual, capable of great cruelty toward the "yuks" that do not share his enlighten views. He scorns things popular, for they reveal the vulgarity of the masses. He deprecates American culture, which he considers brash and crude, American music, particularly country and western music, which he considers the ultimate in maudlin bad taste, American automobiles, which he considers gas-guzzling monsters, favoring European cars, quicker, more agile, preferably BMW's or Mercedes-Benz's. He despises the utter unsophistication of the American people, found everywhere except in the liberal elite enclaves at both coasts. He scorns the American way of life, particularly in the hinterland, the fly-over country. He would much prefer people with more humility, the eagerness to learn obediently, and the docility to allow to be lead by their natural rulers, the intellectual elite. At the extreme of the liberalism scale, he just plain hates America.
The American liberal's mentality, his upside-down view of reality, manifests its uniqueness in every aspect of society. For example, he rejects the traditional concept of justice, an eye for an eye, punishment that fits the crime, as insensate and cruel revenge. After all, man is sinless. It is the institutions around him that provoke his anti-social behavior, for which we must be compassionate. We must surround the "socially impaired" (that is, the criminal) with understanding and help, not with blame and hardship. His anti-social (criminal) behavior is a matter of environment, of lack of opportunity, of society's oppression, of broken homes, of parents' abuse, of racial discrimination, or a thousand other "reasons." In short, the crimes he commits are neither his fault, nor his responsibility. He has "rights" and "claims," but never responsibility. The American liberal, with his upside-down view of human nature, sees no aggressors and victims, only victims. And the "victims" that have the misfortune to fall into the clutches of the justice system are the ones with the most urgent need for protection. That is why liberals and lawyers are kindred spirits.
Similarly, the American liberal sees the purpose of the educational system, not to cram information in the minds of young students, but to develop their "social conscience," to teach them about diversity, about multiculturalism. Academic achievement, particularly in the hard sciences, is not very important. More important is to teach the students the "right" way of thinking. And never, never hurt their self-esteem. He is opposed to tests, and grading, and enforcement of any kind of academic achievement standards. A student should never be made to feel embarrassed for his failures. No matter how little effort the student makes, and how poorly he performs, he should always be praised for his efforts, and rewarded with advancement. Never mind that he is being taught that mediocrity is acceptable. No matter how ill prepared he will be to compete when he receives his "social" diploma and joints the real world.
He adamantly opposes any kind of government assistance to poor families to help them send their children to private primary schools. This opposition is totally out of character with his steadfast support for a greater welfare state. But there are other considerations involved here. The competition from private schools could put in jeopardy the monopoly now enjoyed by the public school system, the system where he can more easily impose his politically correct ideas. The public school system must be protected and preserved for the unwashed masses. However, big hypocrite that he is, he sends his children to the best private schools money can buy.
The American liberal has been extremely successful in achieving control of faculties in our colleges and universities. And, no matter what subjects he teaches; may it be Geography, or Mathematics, or Biology, or whatever, he exercises all his teaching skills and powers of persuasion to mold his students' minds to that of his own. Once I heard a young woman say that the main purpose of college professors is to cleanse the students from the biases they acquire from their parents. Can you imagine a more scary thought? College professors, the archetypes of the American liberal, taking over from the parents the job of shaping the minds of our youth!
In matters of art the American liberal is a "modernistic." He believes that the driving purpose of an artist is to challenge, to provoke, to sparkle debate, and to sponsor the correct political views, his views. He loves, or pretends to love "consciousness" poetry, which few read except those like him. He loves James Joyce and T. S. Elliot because only a few understand them. For him, a crucifix inside a jar full of urine is art. A Picasso painting showing a human face with the nose to one side, the mouth to the other, and a big eye in the middle of the forehead, that is art. However, the painting of a beautiful bucolic landscape, that is just a hand-made picture with no artistic significance. In music, he detests typically American forms, especially country and western, as I mentioned before. His favorite piece of music is "La Internacional." He still feels goose bumps and a tightening of his throat when he hears it (only in radio stations owned by the far left). It reminds him of the glorious old days when Marxism was the new wave of socio-political thinking that promised world salvation from the dark, evil force of Capitalism.
He is a rabid environmentalist. After all, what better excuse is there to expand the powers of the government to intrude into the economic life of the nation and restrict individual freedom than to protect the environment? He deems the drilling for oil anywhere, any time to be a crime against humanity and everything that is pure, natural, and pristine on this planet. Yet, he would rather die than be caught riding public transportation, unless he works in Manhattan, in which case it is allowed. As I said, hypocrisy is one of his more endearing qualities.
In matters of religion, he is a secularist. The religious concepts of good and evil, of sin and repentance are foreign to his way of thinking.
Even his gastronomic taste is characteristic of his species. He doesn't see a meal as a way to satisfy his hunger and ingest the nutrients his body needs. To him a meal is a refined form of entertainment. Often (for a fat liberal) the most important form of entertainment. He classifies meals as "boring" or "exciting." American fare is generally boring, French or Italian usually not. A meat and potatoes meal is boring. Vichyssoise or Cioppino is not. But, as a liberal, he occasionally condescends to eat a proletarian hamburger with a glass of ale while mingling with "the people." He loves "the people" provided they don't intrude upon him.
In matters of national defense and foreign policy he is an internationalist. He advocates a world government. In his view, American foreign policy should aim at integration with supra-national organizations. We should never do anything without the approval of the United Nations. He professes to be a pacifist any time our vital national interests are threatened by a foreign aggressor. However, he has no compunction in using American military power to support United Nations objectives in areas where no American vital interest is at stake. He views the CIA as the worst enemy of mankind, the destructor of whole civilizations, as Steven Segal put it in one of his movies. He reveres the memory of his martyrs, Mohammad Mosaddeq, Jacobo Arbens, Salvador Allende, and, of course, Ernesto "Che" Guevara, all victims of CIA murderous chicanery. On the other hand, he is a sincere admirer of every "lefty" dictator in the planet. He never tires in his praise of the likes of Fidel Castro or Hugo Chavez. To him, the cold war was the result of American anti-communist hysteria, and the war on terror the product of American paranoia. He despises the Military, an organization that represents all the things that he scorns: patriotism, service to country, personal sacrifices to defense the freedom of others. In his view, a person that puts up with the personal hardships, sacrifices, and dangers of military service for such mawkish and sappy concepts as duty, honor, and love of country, must be feeble-minded at best, and always dangerous.
The American liberal is an extremely dangerous creature, capable of causing enormous damage when he reaches a position of power where he can affect or dictate the rules of society, or influence the course of history. He is more dangerous of all when he is entrusted with our security. When that happens, many people end up paying with their lives.
So, there you have it. I am sure that I have ignored many other quirks of the liberal mind. But I had to stop somewhere. I admit that I have engaged here in unabashed, shameless stereotyping. As with all stereotyping, I have been very unfair with a lot of people. I plead guilty. I have written a tongue-in-cheek word caricature of the American liberal. And, as with all caricatures, there is a lot of exaggeration in it, but also a lot of truth. I had fun writing it. That was my purpose, and not fairness. If you enjoyed it, feel free to pass it along.
