A competing element to uranium:
Found this from Art Holt. Thought it worth a break for all the U scientists amongst us.
Terry
NEW ELEMENT FOUND!
The recent hurricanes and skyrocketing oil and gasoline prices helped
to prove the existence of a new element. In early October 2005, a
major research institution announced the discovery of the heaviest
element yet known to science. The new element has been
named "Governmentium."
Governmentium (Gv) has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy
neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass
of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces
called 'morons' which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-
like particles called 'peons.' Since Gv has no electrons, it is
inert. However, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction
with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Gv causes one
reaction to take over four days to complete, when it would normally
take less than a second!
Gv has a normal half-life of 4 years; it does not decay; but instead
undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant
neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact,
Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each
reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
forming 'isodopes.' This characteristic of moron promotion leads most
scientists to believe that Gv is formed whenever morons reach a
certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is
referred to as 'Critical Morass.'
When catalyzed with money, Gv becomes "Administratium' (Am) - an
element which radiates just as much energy as Gv, since it has half
as many peons but twice as many morons.
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