MMStockPlay's Money Makers

[Bob-C]

Hi Tyler, "What's the difference between buying a lottery ticket and buying a penny stock? In the first case, you help finance your local community swimming pool. In the second case, you help finance the stock promoters home pool."

My broker and I are working on a retirement plan. Unfortunately, it's his!


A stockbroker is someone who invests your money till it's all gone!



It was so cold today I saw a stockbroker with his hands in his own pockets.



A market analyst is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today!
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Bull Market:

Is a random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

Bear Market:

Is a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry and the husband gets no sex.

Bear:

What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

Bull:

What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

Cheers, :)

Bob