Home > Boards > The Lounge > Humor/Jokes > Weird, Funny News & Jokes

Punxsutawney Phil 'indicted' over spring forecast

Public Reply | Private Reply | Keep | Last ReadPost New MsgNext 10 | Previous | Next
My2Cents Member Profile
 
Followed By 16
Posts 819
Boards Moderated 2
Alias Born 11/18/06
160x600 placeholder
Top Stories of the Day
TOP STORIES Premier Foods Shares Seen as Undervalued -- Market Talk
Top Company News of the Day
Corn Futures Falls as Rainfall is Expected -- Daily Grain Highlights
Front Month Nymex Natural Gas Rose 10.51% This Week to Settle at $4.0600 -- Data Talk
Front Month Nymex RBOB Gasoline Rose 1.67% This Week to Settle at $2.2913 -- Data Talk
Grimmway Farms Recalls Certain Carrots Due to Risk of Salmonella
Kimberly-Clark Reports 2Q Results, Offers Guidance -- Commodity Comment
GDP Growth Expected to Accelerate in 2Q -- Data Week Ahead
Veoneer Shares Touch 52-week High, Magna Plans to Acquire Co.
AbbVie Gets FDA OK for Pediatric Skin Infection Drug
FTSE 100 Index Ends the Week 0.28% Higher at 7027.58 -- Data Talk
STOXX Europe 50 Index Ends the Week 0.84% Higher at 3558.08 -- Data Talk
CAC 40 Index Ends the Week 1.68% Higher at 6568.82 -- Data Talk
DAX Ends the Week 0.83% Higher at 15669.29 -- Data Talk
STOXX Europe 600 Index Ends the Week 1.49% Higher at 461.51 -- Data Talk
EURO STOXX 50 Index Ends the Week 1.82% Higher at 4109.10 -- Data Talk
FTSE 100 Closed Higher Despite Volatile Week
Vonovia Unlikely to Secure Enough Support From Deutsche Wohnen Shareholders to Pursue Takeover
Kimberly-Clark Keeps Forecast of Favorable FX in 2021 -- Currency Comment
U.S. Economic Growth Moderated in July -- IHS Markit
Veoneer Shares Climb on Magna Acquisition Deal
FTSE Rises, Covid-19 Strategy and Brexit Tensions Could Hit Pound
AstraZeneca's Bydureon BCise Gets U.S. Approval For Type 2 Diabetes in Pediatric Patients
My2Cents   Friday, 03/22/13 03:20:25 PM
Re: None
Post # of 2904 
Punxsutawney Phil 'indicted' over spring forecast

http://news.yahoo.com/punxsutawney-phil-indicted-over-spring-forecast-142511237.html

CINCINNATI (AP) — Famed groundhog Punxsutawney Phil might want to go back into hibernation.

Authorities in still-frigid Ohio have issued an "indictment" of the furry rodent, who predicted an early spring when he didn't see his shadow after emerging from his western Pennsylvania lair on Feb. 2.

"Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early," Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio's Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment.

Gmoser wrote that Punxsutawney Phil is charged with misrepresentation of spring, which constitutes a felony "against the peace and dignity of the state of Ohio."

The penalty Phil faces? Gmoser says — tongue firmly in cheek — is death.

Punxsutawney Phil does not have a listed phone number.

Bill Deeley, president of the Punxsutawney club that organizes Groundhog Day, said Phil has a lawyer and would fight any extradition attempt by Ohio authorities.

Deeley defended his fur-bearing associate and said the death penalty was "very harsh" given the nature of the allegations.

"We'll have to plead our case one way or the other, but I think we can beat the rap," Deeley said.

The vitriolic backlash on social media to Phil's dead-wrong prognostication has not gone unnoticed in and around Gobbler's Knob, Deeley said, and special security precautions were in place.

"Right next to where Phil stays is the police station," he said. "They've been notified and they said they will keep watching their monitors."

Winter has been dragging on in the Buckeye State and surrounding areas, with daily high temperatures this week hovering in the mid-30s and no end in sight for about 10 days, said Don Hughes, a meteorologist with the National Weather Service in Wilmington, Ohio.

A storm moving into the region Sunday could bring between 4 and 8 inches of snow, he said.

"It's taking too long," Hughes said, adding that he's hearing plenty of complaints from colleagues and neighbors about the late spring. "Most people I've talked to say they've had enough. They want spring. They're looking for colors and sunshine and Easter lilies."

The frigid temperatures and snow might be particularly hard to swallow after last spring, when the U.S. saw the warmest March in recorded history. Highs in the Cincinnati area, for instance, were well into the 80s.

Hughes said this spring isn't nearly the coldest on record but that the area is about 5 degrees below normal.

Gmoser's indictment made no mention of a possible co-conspirator in the false prediction of early spring, Ohio's own forecasting groundhog, Buckeye Chuck.

Chuck also failed to see his shadow when he emerged from his burrow on Feb. 2 in Marion in north-central Ohio.


Public Reply | Private Reply | Keep | Last ReadPost New MsgNext 10 | Previous | Next
Follow Board Follow Board Keyboard Shortcuts Report TOS Violation
X
Current Price
Change
Volume
Detailed Quote - Discussion Board
Intraday Chart
+/- to Watchlist
Consent Preferences