The Halfway House

[BullNBear52]

I will, pay attention to these tips from the pros...

> The best wood in most amateurs' bags is the pencil (Chi Chi Rodriguez)
>
> If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong
> golf ball. (Jack Lemmon)
>
> To some golfers, the greatest handicap is the ability to add correctly.
>
> Some golfers believe 'overclubbing' can be corrected by 'overlooking'or
> 'undercounting.' When using a caddie it can also be corrected by
> overtipping.'
>
> Tee your ball high...air offers less resistance than dirt. (JackNicklaus)

>
> It's not whether you win or lose...it's whether I win or lose.
>
> If you find you do not mind playing golf in the rain, the snow, even
> during a hurricane, here's a valuable tip: your life is in trouble.
>
> Why is it that when you tell yourself, 'don't hit it in the water' your
> body only seems to hear the word 'water'?
>
> A 'gimme' can best be defined as an agreement between two
> golfers..neither of whom can putt very well.
>
> An interesting thing about golf is that no matter how badly you play,
> it is always possible to get worse.
>
> The members who command the best service at your golf club either have
> the lowest handicaps or the highest bar bills.
>
> Golf is an awkward set of bodily contortions designed to produce a
> graceful result. (Tommy Armour)
>
> Many Wall Street brokers believe that a stroke does not really occur
> unless it was observed by more than one person.
>
> If you find yourself pleased that you locate more balls in the rough than

> you actually have lost, your focus is totally wrong and your personality
> might not be right for golf...it is also just a matter of time before the

> IRS investigates your business.
>
> Why is it twice as difficult to hit a ball over water than sand?
>
> You know your golf game is improving when you start missing shots much
> closer than you used to.
>
> The trees taunt you; the sand mocks you; the water calls your
> name...and they say golf is a quiet game.
>
> The real reason your pro tells you to keep your head down is so you
> can't see him laughing at you. (Phyllis Diller)
>
> Golf's a hard game to figure. One day you'll go out and slice it and
shank
> it, hit into all the traps and miss every green. The next day you go out
> and, for no reason at all, you really stink. (Bob Hope)
>
> Only a stupid golfer throws his club behind him. The smart golfer throws
> his club ahead so he can pick it up on the way to the next hole.
> (Corollary: clubs don't float.)
>
> If you have lost more than four balls on any given hole, for safety
> reasons, let your partner drive the cart.
>
> Golf's three ugliest words: Still your shot!! (Dave Marr)
>
> He who has the fastest golf cart never has a bad lie. (Mickey Mantle)
>
> Golf is like marriage: if you take yourself too seriously it won't
> work...and both are expensive