Monk's Email Club

[ctrumabll]

Monk, I would just love to get the updates now! Early and often!

Will you fill us in on your defense strategy?

I see the candidates as:

1. I'm not a crook; I'm a doofus.

2. I drank my own Kool-Aid to the point where I believed it myself.

3. I am not competent to appear before the SEC due to my recent nervous breakdown.

4. It wasn't me; it was my evil twin.

5. Don't even try; just get another aircraft and make a "run for the border." In this case, possibly the border with Cuba; they love to harbor American financial crooks.