Collective Intelligence

[Bruce the Stock Guy]

Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my dogs Brady and Lucky at Wal-Mart and was about to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think I had, an elephant? RIGHT...??? So on an impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog and that I was starting the Purina Diet again.

Although I probably shouldn't, because I'd ended up in the hospital last time. I'd... lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified , she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no; I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car me!