New Yorkers in Exile

[BullNBear52]

On Anniversary of Attack, Many New Yorkers Will Try Not to Dwell on It
By N. R. KLEINFIELD

Laurel Wells is not going to the official Sept. 11 ceremony on Sunday morning at ground zero.

She is not going to any of the free concerts being staged across New York City throughout the weekend.

She is not going to the hand-holding human chain that will form along the waterfront in Lower Manhattan on Saturday morning.

She is not going to the writing of personal reflections on natural fiber paper at the Wave Hill center in the Bronx on Sunday afternoon.

She is going to neither the Table of Silence tribute at Lincoln Center on Sunday morning, nor the floating lantern ceremony at Pier 40 in Greenwich Village that evening.

As for the myriad additional events being held in the city this weekend to mark the 10th anniversary of that awful day, she will be absent.

Weather permitting, she is going to the beach.

Ms. Wells means no disrespect, not at all. She will remember the hurt of the attacks in her own muted way rather than at a public assemblage.

“I don’t want to be reminded,” she said. “Enough. I’m bummed. I really don’t want to go through that again. It’s not a celebration. I have really mixed feelings. I have feelings of sadness and feelings of fear.”

In her avoidance, she will have abundant company. While first responders have been fighting to get into the scripted ceremony at the site, and others have scribbled one or another of the weekend’s dizzying possibilities on their calendars, many New Yorkers want nothing to do with the innumerable happenings attached like limpets to the anniversary. Plenty of them are leaving town, wanting as much space as possible from the ghosts and the day’s enduring grasp.

For some, it is all too bleak. They do not want to be submerged in squeamish memories. Others find too much politics and the clang of commerce staining the day, not how they feel homage should be paid to the lost lives. Or they do not want to confront the intensified security, the risk of bomb threats. Or they are simply anniversary-exhausted.

The events, of course, will attract many people who feel more ardent about them. Millions of others will watch the official ceremony on Sunday morning and the untold hours of related coverage on television.

But some other number will be out there with their regular golf foursome or tennis partner. They will be vacuuming, exercising at the gym, studying for a quantum mechanics exam, training the dog. They will be celebrating personal milestones, like wedding anniversaries or birthdays.

For one young Manhattan woman, an I.T. researcher, Sunday is her day to volunteer at the Red Cross doing, of all things, disaster relief. She imagines she will be visiting some people whose home caught fire, soothing them.

In an unscientific random sampling of some four dozen New Yorkers over the last couple of days, only two said they might attend something connected to 9/11, and even they were not sure they would.

Ms. Wells, 44, a fashion producer who now lives in Brooklyn, occupied an apartment in SoHo on 9/11, where she had an unobstructed view south. She watched the second plane pierce the south tower, watched both towers disintegrate.

She has a weekend house in East Moriches, on Long Island, and she might not usually head out there this late in the summer season, but she was deliberately going with her husband and son to be distanced from the city.

“I don’t know any New Yorkers who are participating in any of this,” she said. “The city will be one big security zone. Most of my friends are getting out of the city.”

Albert Santiago, 48, a building superintendent who lives in the Bronx, will also be out of town. He will be in Monticello, N.Y. His sister, Sonia, has a trailer in a campground there, and it is her 55th birthday. The relatives will be gathering.

“The anniversary means a lot,” he said. “But so does my sister. I will remember in my mind.”

Brandi Sinkovich, 32, who recently graduated from law school and is in pursuit of work, is fond of baseball, as is her boyfriend. They were thinking of going to the Mets game on Sunday, though the odds are they will instead watch it at their apartment in Queens. There is the Jets game too, and her boyfriend wants to see that.

But no 9/11 events.

“We’re trying to avoid thinking about it,” she said.

Back then, her boyfriend was working at J&R Music World, a few blocks north of the World Trade Center. He had just come out of the subway when it happened. He was shaken. So was she.

“I don’t want to see it over and over again,” she said. “I’m tired of it and don’t want to feel bad. We’d rather spend the time together.”

In disbelief, E. J. McPherson observed the imploding towers from what was then his office at Credit Suisse. A friend of his who worked in the twin towers did not get out.

Mr. McPherson, 45, who now has his own real estate and advertising companies and lives in the Bronx, is skipping the public events. “They become like a pep rally,” he said. “They’re not a remembrance. Keep it simple.”

He will remember by himself, at home. “I’ll be on my knees,” he said, “giving thanks that I’m home and safe and saying something for all who were lost.”

There is a happy milestone this weekend for Ed Wawrynek. It is his 39th wedding anniversary, and he would rather dwell on that.

Mr. Wawrynek, 61, a retail consultant who lives in Brooklyn, said he would probably follow some of the coverage on TV. He will say a prayer in church. His wife will undoubtedly call a former co-worker whose son perished in the attacks. But he does not want to go to any of the commemorations. “I just find it depressing as hell,” he said. “I just don’t want to wallow in all that sadness. Ten years is a good, long time. I don’t think we should go hog wild with it.”

So it will be dinner out with his wife, then another dinner with their grown children. “And I’m certainly going to stay off bridges and tunnels,” he said.

Two friends of Tony Harrow died in the towers, and their loss sits inside him. He is 81, and lives in Manhattan, a retired actor and caterer. “I did much better as a caterer than an actor,” he pointed out. “I was a stand-in in ‘The Godfather’ for De Niro. Never said one word to me.”

He has diabetes, and his energy level traces an uneven trajectory. If he is feeling sufficiently energized, he might visit the site on Sunday. As for the tide of supplementary 9/11 events, not for him.

“I think they’re ridiculous,” Mr. Harrow said. “It’s rehashing. Let it go. All the concerts and screaming and clapping don’t make sense to me. Say your prayers at home. Light a candle. Talk to someone about it.”

He had another thought. “Why not have everyone kneel down on the street and pray?” he asked. “That would be something. That would be phenomenal.”


http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/10/nyregion/on-911-anniversary-many-new-yorkers-will-try-not-to-dwell-on-it.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print