Zeev's Turnips Patch-No Politics (ZEEV)

[lee kramer]

I am pleased to report that in the event of a cataclysmic event the exchanges WILL open at their regularly scheduled time on Monday.

Spokesmen for the exchanges said that a moment of silence would be observed for the hundreds of million of unfortunate victims.

Fed officials assured that POMO would proceed as scheduled. "The American peoplde would expect no less," said a Fed spokesmen.

Exchange officials, ever vigilant, indicated that if their buildings collapsed trading would moved to the Carnegie Deli.

Woody Allen is expected to ring the opening bell, er the pickle jar.