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Wednesday, 11/17/2010 10:26:32 PM

Wednesday, November 17, 2010 10:26:32 PM

Post# of 25462
lol ...i thought its so funny...(but i couldn't find the board i can post...)

New Stock Market Terms

1.CEO -- Chief Embezzlement Officer.

2.CFO -- Corporate Fraud Officer.

3.BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.

4.BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance,the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no Sxx (you guess!).

5.VALUE INVESTING (...i've done this many
-- The art of buying low and selling lower.

6.P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

7.BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

8.STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

9.STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

10.STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

11.FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

12.MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

13.CASH FLOW -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

14.YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

15.WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

16.INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

17.PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.