OFFICIAL TRANSCRIPT OF LETTERMAN - Revised
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Dave:
'Here's tonights top ten list. The category tonight 'Top ten shows on the new gay cable network'. I was not aware of this but apparently there is a new (stuttering saying 'gable') gay cable channel entitled the Q TELEVISION NETWORK. What would the Q stand for? (Laughs) It will debut later this month to provide programming for the gay, lesbian and bi-sexual community. It would be nice if the bi-sexuals got their own channel (laughs).'
Paul: (Cannot make out what he is saying, not important though)'Give bi-sexuals their own, lesbians over here, everyone should have hi-def (joke from earlier in the show) (laughs).'
Dave: 'Give 'em a chance' and 'That's right' and 'I think so' were said while Paul was talking.
Dave: 'Anyway, there is a new gay cable channel entitled Q TELEVISION NETWORK and they are going to begin programming (doesn't finish sentence, appears he was going to announce a date), by the way I was told we will be in hi-def in September.'
Paul: 'Why aren't we in hi-def now'
Dave: 'I don't know, why weren't we in hi-def two years ago? I'll be dead in September, the new guy will be in hi-def' (Laughs). Uhh, OK, so anyway, did you open the thing?'
Paul: 'It's open.'
Dave: 'Uhhh, the top ten shows, the top ten shows now, these are the top ten new shows on the gay cable network. Anyway here are the shows:
10. Everybody Loves Raymond, Especially Steve
9. CSI: San Francisco
8. Inside the Actors Studio Apartment in the West Village
7. Law and Order: Special Antiqing Unit
6. King of Queens
5. Desperate Houseboys
4. Stone Philips -- Unleashed
3. Malcolm in the Middle (Huge Laughs)
2. My Wife and Kids... Have no idea
1. Press the Meat'
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OK, I worked really long on this, the ending is a little off because my TIVO only records 30 minutes back unless you tell it to record more (which I forgot in my excitement!). PLEASE AT LEAST CREDIT ME WHEN YOU POST THIS! Thanks. There is likely some small error between the top ten being spoken and introducing it, nothing important though. I also missed his explanation of 'Press the Meat', but again, not important. Please feel free to make adjustments and post them! GO Q!
AI
