Laws to Live By
Lerman's Law of Technology: Any technical problem can be
overcome given enough time and money. Corollary: You are
NEVER given enough time or money.
Murphy's First Law for Wives: If you ask your husband to
pick up five items at the store and then you add one more as
an afterthought, he will forget two of the first five.
Law of the Search: The first place to look for anything is
the last place you would expect to find it. Corollary: It
will not be in the last place you expect to find it.
Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation: The less important
you are to the corporation, the more your tardiness or
absence is noticed.
The Salary Axiom: The pay raise is just large enough to
increase your taxes and just small enough to have no effect
on your take-home pay.
Miller's Law of Insurance: Insurance covers everything
except what happens.
First Law of Living: As soon as you start doing what you
always wanted to be doing, you'll want to be doing something
else.
Weiner's Law of Libraries: There are no answers, only
cross-references.
Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness: Any food that starts
out hard will soften when stale. Any food that starts out
soft will harden when stale.
Kenny's Law of Auto Repair: The part requiring the most
consistent repair or replacement will be housed in the most
inaccessible location.
Second Law of Business Meetings: If there are two possible
ways to spell a person's name, you will pick the wrong one.
Corollary - If there is only one way to spell a name, you
will spell it wrong anyway.
