RANT & CHAT - No Politics

[PMS Witch]

I had no idea the level of frustration people have with those with whom they share the road. I’m sure we all have days when things could go smoother. But sometimes they don’t, and here’s a few observations. . .

Ever drive down an empty street. Not another car in front or behind as far as the eye can see. Ever need to jam on the brakes because someone pulls out in front of you. Calculate his wait if he’d let you go by before pulling out. I bet it doesn’t come to a half second. And ever notice that after he gets going, it’s always much slower than you were travelling. If, in those rare cases he does go fast, he’s only going one block, so you need to slow down again because he’s turning off.

Drivers I call angry hornets get behind you and weave back and forth trying to pass. The trouble is, there’s no opportunity to pass. Too much traffic, not enough road, construction, obstacles, or, if there is a God in Heaven, a radar trap ahead. These guys often drive four cylinder cars with giant coffee can tailpipes. They think it makes their cars sound ‘muscular’ but it in reality, it makes them sound like a desperate hornet in a bottle.

Some people who would never dare to but in front of you in any other line have no hesitation about driving past a long line of cars, only to nose their way in at the last moment. Some will take extra measures to prevent their success, but eventually, someone blinks, and their behaviour, now rewarded, continues.

Or how about the guy who follows so close that his headlights bake the paint on your bumper.

Some people are simply more important than others. They are easy to spot. Their cellular telephone identifies them. They must never lose touch. Their words are golden. Something as mundane as maintaining control of two tons of steel travelling at a mile a minute doesn’t deserve their full attention.

How do people choose what lane to drive in? When I learned to drive, decades ago, we were taught that when one passes another vehicle, they should enter the left lane, pass, then return to the driving lane. Things changed and I didn’t learn about it. Now, we have people driving in the left lane for mile after mile. The scenery must be better over there, because they often go slower than everyone else on the road. I’m convinced that these people write those letters to the Editor we see in the newspapers - - You know the ones: they’re complaining about people passing them on the right.

The light ahead is red. Two cars are side-by-side. Decision time. Which car will turn? Which will go straight when the light turns green? Don’t bother looking for a signal. That’ll get you nowhere! Does driver education classes now teach people just how far forward (two feet seems about average) to go before putting on the blinker to warn others they plan on turning? Another universal truth: If you can’t see around the vehicle, the guy in front of him will be turning. Stuck, blind, and behind, you wonder if you’ll ever get rolling again. Eventually you do, but this story is a serial, and the next episode comes at the next light.

Speaking of turn indicators, if they seem difficult to turn on, sometimes they are impossible to turn off. What’s the guy doing that he doesn’t realise that he’s driven forty miles with the signal going. Every car I’ve ever driven had both a light in my face, and a beep in my ear when the signal is flashing. What does it take to get their attention? Maybe one of those cattle prods farmers use could be implemented. If one signals, and doesn’t turn within a couple of miles, a shock is delivered to the driver. (Letting other drivers set the voltage by remote control would be the kind of stuff dreams are made of.)

Union lights. We all know what union lights are, don’t we? They’re lights that rely on seniority. The light, like a fine wine, must age properly. Drivers don’t stop for a light the instant it turns red. Once it turns red, a couple of cars are entitled to go through before stopping is required. Same with green. When the light turns green, it’s not time to go. It’s time to go only after a break in the conversation, the radio station gets changed, the cigarette gets lit, or my favourite, the nostril nugget gets flicked out the window.

Who decided that decibels will replace horsepower? I miss the days when a great car had a big motor, sticky tyres, good brakes, and dynamite looks. Today we have cars with places to hang laundry on the back, gaudy paint, the letter R stuck all over it, and a radio that makes it shake. And the radio distracts other drivers too. One of these things pulling up beside you and you expect you’re in the road of a runaway concrete mixer and are about to get incorporated into a bridge foundation somewhere.

Baby on board signs. I’ve devoted an entire post to this, and won’t repeat myself here. #reply-14435261

Cloud cars. I pay dearly for emission testing. My cars, being almost new, always pass. Their emission systems are still under warranty. Invariably, when I’m driving to or from an emission test, I encounter some guy in a clunker spewing a cloud behind so thick that one almost needs radar to navigate. I wonder how they get away with it. Testing is mandatory in my area. Surely, these cars can’t pass!

Cheers, PW¹²³.

P.S. I’m sure your new board’s going to be lots of fun.