Tornado Alley (PROG)

[easymoney101]

Subject: Clinton Named in Death of Arkansan
From: Arkie
Date: Oct 22 2004 3:03PM

Yes a GOP precinct captain was overcome today in Arkansas and anytime somebody dies here you gotta start looking at Clinton being to blame because
as we conservatives know - he is the cause of almost all callamities in the USA..
The fact that Bill was just here and left after this death is proof enough that he had something to do with minimizing the margin of victory for that heroic
leader Bush since he always attacks GOPers. Details below.

ARKANSAS CITY (EAP) -- A Little Rock woman was killed yesterday after leaping through her moving car's sunroof during an incident best described as a "mistaken rapture" by dozens of eye-witnesses. Thirteen other people were injured after a twenty-car
pile-up resulted from people trying to avoid hitting the woman,who was apparently convinced the rapture was occurring when she saw what she thought were twelve people floating up into the heavens, and then passed a man on the side of the road who she believed was Jesus beckoning the figures ward. "She
started screaming `He's back! He's back!' and climbed out through the sunroof and jumped off the roof of the car," said Everett Williams, husband of 28-year-old Georgann Williams who was pronounced dead at the scene from severe head trauma injuries.
Here husband told reporters, "I was slowing down but she wouldn't wait till I stopped," Williams said. She thought the rapture was happening and was convinced that Jesus was gonna lift her up into
the sky," he went on to say. State Trooper Paul Madison noted, "This is the strangest thing I've seen since I've been on the force," He was the first officer on the scene and Madison questioned
the man who looked like Jesus. His report notes that he discovered that the man in question a Mr. Ernie Jenkins of McGehee, AR. was on his way to toga party after attending an illegal cockfighting event
in Lake Village, Ar. As he was driving - the tarp covering the bedof his pickup truck came loose and released twelve blow-up sex dolls filled with helium, which then floated up into the sky. Mr.Jenkins 32, who's been told by several of his friends that he looks like Jesus, pulled over and lifted his arms into the air in frustration and was yelling "Come back," just as the Williams' car passed him. Mrs. Williams who was just on her way back from a testimonial at a local church was
sure that it was Jesus lifting people up into heaven as they drove by him. Mr. Williams told reporters, "I think my wife loved Jesus more
than she loved me," the widower said when asked why his wife would do such a thing. When asked for comments about the twelve sex dolls, Jenkins replied, "This is all just too weird for me. I never expected anything like this to happen but I sure am glad that I didn't bring any of my pit bulls with me - they would have just added to this nightmare".

The state RNC campaign here is organizing a huge funeral in her name as well as a Bush/Cheney fundraiser to follow her final rites. The RNC
is planning to hand out pamphlets noting that not only will Democrats ban the Bible if elected but they had better be sure to stay home whenever
Bill Clinton comes to Arkansas. Stephen Racicot noted, " We have lost a wonderful Christian women and a leader in the cause for justice in our world.
We counted on bad things happening when Clinton came here this week but this man brings the devil with him whenever he shows up"…."The man is just evil and can cause these evil "miracles" to occur unless we are vigilant and in November - we make sure that God wins this upcoming election". A DNC Spokesperson was speechless when reporters asked for a rebuttal.

http://fray.slate.msn.com/?id=3936&m=12659380