STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it. CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery? STEWART: Absolutely. CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you... STEWART: You're on CNN! The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls. STEWART: What is wrong with you? You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably. [...] CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny. STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey. BEGALA: Go ahead. Go ahead.
CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion. STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show. (LAUGHTER)
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