LIES, SEX, AND VIDEOTAPE UH CD!

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Obituary

Mr. Common Sense

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend,
Common Sense, who has been with us for years. No one
Knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were
Long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be rememembered
as having cultivated such valuable lessons as: Knowing when to
come in out of the rain; Why the early bird gets the worm; Life
isn’t always fair; and maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies
(don’t spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies
(adults, not children, are in charge).

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well
intentioned, but overbearing, regulations were set in place.
Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for
kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using
mouthwash after lunch, and a teacher fired for reprimanding
an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers
for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in
disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further
when schools were required to get parental consent to
administer Tylenol, sun lotion or a band-aid to a student, but
could not inform parents when a student became pregnant
and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten
Commandments became contraband, churches became
businesses, and criminals received better treatment than their
victims.

Common Sense took a beating when you couldn’t defend
yourself from a burglar in your own home, and the burglar
could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live after a
woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot.
She spilled a little in her lap while driving her car, and she was
promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was
preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust; his wife,
Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason.

He is survived by his three stepbrothers; I Know My
Rights, Someone Else Is To Blame and I’m A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he
was gone. If you still remember him, share this obituary with
your friends and neighbors. If not, join the majority and do
nothing.