Mike Tyson deserves credit for the phrase he originally uttered in 2002 after being pummeled for 8 rounds: "I guess I'm gonna fade into bolivian." There must be something about being struck repeatedly in the head that lends itself to such (ahem) wit.
Some others from Tyson:
"I can sell out Madison Square Garden masturbating."
"I'm just a dark guy from a den of iniquity. A dark shadowy figure from the bowels of iniquity. I wish I could be Mike who gets an endorsement deal. But you can't make a lie and a truth go together. This country wasn't built on moral fiber. This country was built on rape, slavery, murder, degradation and affiliation with crime."
"I'm on the Zoloft to keep from killing y'all."
"My power is discombobulatingly devastating I could feel is muscle tissues collapse under my force. It's ludicrous these mortals even attempt to enter my realm."
"At times, I come across as crude or crass, that irritates you when I come across like a Neanderthal or a babbling idiot at times. But I like to be that person. I like to show you all that person because that's who you come to see."
"The one thing I know, everyone respects the true person and everyone's not true with themselves. All of these people who are heroes, these guys who have been lily white and clean all their lives, if they went through what I went through, they would commit suicide. They don't have the heart that I have. I've lived places they can't defecate in."
"[He] called me a 'rapist' and a 'recluse'. I'm not a recluse."
"All praise is to Allah, I'll fight any man, any animal, if Jesus were here I'd fight him too."
