Tornado Alley (PROG)

[sortagreen]

if you haven't completely lost your sense o' humor

Stock Market Terms for 2009

New Stock Market Terms
CEO ? Chief Embezzlement Officer

CFO ? Corporate Fraud Officer

BULL MARKET ? A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius

BEAR MARKET ? a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.

VALUE INVESTING ? The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO ? The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER ? What my financial planner has made me.

STANDARD & POOR ? Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST ? Idiot who just downgraded your stock.

STOCK SPLIT ? When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

MARKET CORRECTION ? The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW ? The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO ? What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS ? What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR ? Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT ? an archaic word no longer in use.