>I know this guy whose neighbor, a young man, was home recovering
>from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky Fried
>Chicken. So anyway, one day he went to sleep and when he awoke he
>was in his bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over.
>When he got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEYS HAD BEEN
>STOLEN and he saw a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" But he
>was afraid to use his phone because it was connected to his
>computer, and there was a virus on his computer that would destroy
>his hard drive if he opened an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He
>knew it wasn't a hoax because he himself was a computer programmer
>who was working on software to save us from Armageddon when the year
>2000 rolls around. His program will prevent a global disaster in
>which all the computers get together and distribute the $600 Nieman
>Marcus cookie recipe under the leadership of Bill Gates. (It's
>true-I read it all last week in a mass e-mail from BILL GATES
>HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free Disneyworld vacation and
>$5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to everyone I know.) The poor
>man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his missing
>kidneys, but reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed with
>an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
>"Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks
>from the hospital-the one, actually, where that little boy who is
>dying of cancer is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the
>world to send him an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has
>agreed to pay him a nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him
>two e-mails and one of them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape
>of an angel (if you get it and forward it to twenty people you will
>have good luck but ten people you will only have ok luck and if you
>send it to less than ten people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN
>YEARS). So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the
>hospital, but on the way he noticed another car driving along
>without his lights on. To be helpful, he flashed his lights at him
>and was promptly shot as part of a gang initiation. And it's a
>little-known fact that the Y1K problem caused the Dark Ages.
