uWink Inc. (UWKI)

[the big guy]

So their next financial statement will read:

We remain ahead of the game in terms of eviction from our restaurant premises. We are at the second notice at HH, while WH has yet to be served. Regular appearances by the Sherriff are not hurting business. We have an elaborate warning system in case the authorities approach, in case any salesmen are trying to sell anything in the "showcase" restaurants. Just like on The Great Escape!

Meanwhile... All of our employees have accepted payment in the form of free computers, lots of internet time, and stock options up the yin yang.

Employees are also being forced to bring their own office supplies.

The lack of telephones and cell phones are not a problem. We project great sales from our mail order business. And the salesmen, well they just yell really loudly, it actually works!

Instead of serving real food.. we are partnering with the local food bank. We offer all of the local vagrants free gaming, in exchange for their food stamps. While the runners are having trouble getting to/ from the local dining hall in time to fill the orders... the service level has never been better! (it was never good). They say it is a great workout as well.