I appreciate everyone's advice on how to proceed.
My mother in law's state of mind is not very strong right now. She still not over loss of her husband to do it herself. My wife is going to put it on front burner next week before GM insurance coverage eventually disappears.
Only problem is the more we do for her the more she expects us to continue to do more for her. She told her sister "it's my time to take it easy". Just weeks ago, she was managing to deal for herself and her husband who was totally blind for last 5 years.
For example, she is inventing problems with her car, headlights, turn signals, saggy tires, gear shifter etc to get us to drive her everywhere including the hairdresser but we are 50 miles away from her on local roads. It is the wildly imagined running out of money problems that we can't deal with. She got enough money for at least 120 months of nursing home care if situation got a lot worse. If you ge directly involved and suggest something she doesn't like to hear she uses the "your only interested in my money" or " I just want to die" remarks to get you to back off or if you ignore her too much the phone calls start coming several times a day.
Nutrition is becoming the biggest and most concerning issue since she won't cook or shop for herself and there is no physical limitations preventing her from doing so. She rarely goes out to the local diner alone when she went 7 days a week with her husband there. It must be tough on her to be seen as a lonely widow by waitstaff. Eating has become mostly a social function rather then a basic necessity required for one to prosper.
She has 2 sisters very close by who want to help but she can get on their nerves very easily.
We can't get her to go to local senior citizens center during the day to keep her occupied and get a meal squared away. We are going to propose meals on wheels next and see if that is shot down. If she rejects that, we may have to wait for upcoming medical situation to occur to get her in better managed situation since she seems to have more a psychologically problem that we are not in a position to deal with unless my wife becomes legal guardian for her for medical reasons.
AI
