The Jailhouse

[Paule]

We did submit your petition for early parole….


Please be patient our offices are located in Afghanistan. Unfortunately due to the recent crises all electronic access has been temporarily blocked and we cannot communicate with our main office. However, we did send a courier with your petition to Afghanistan about a week ago. Unfortunately in his last report he has indicated that a massive earthquake has collapsed our main offices with all records being destroyed.

Not to fret our offices always keep a hardcopy back up. The location of these hardcopies is Iraq. The courier was dispatched; once again an unfortunate matter arose, and the last report indicated that the local Goat Herder Jihad Association of Iran had detained him on espionage charges? …

Now we have no Idea the political agenda of said Goat herders but rest assured we have sent a diplomatic envoy to try and determine just what the demands these radical are making. It IS our goal to expedite these matters with much haste. We understand and empathize with you and your concerns. We do appreciate your business and for your patience as well as a show of our good faith, we requested the local warden allow you an extra fifteen minutes a day away from your cellmate Bubba.

We are told that once the Warden gets back from his sixth month vacation to Tibet he will review our request with the utmost priority.

Once again thank you, and never forget


We’re here for you!




Paule is Walnuts