Golf's Major Championships

[jcamp]

Ode to golf:
In my hand I hold a ball.... white and dimpled, rather small....
Oh , how bland it does appear....this harmless looking little sphere...
By its size I could not guess.... the awesome strength it does
possess...
But since I fell beneath it's spell.... I've wandered through the
fires of hell..
My life has not been quite the same.... Since I chose to play this
stupid game....
It rules my mind for hours on end... A fortune it has made me spend....
It has made me swear and yell and cry.... I hate myself and want to
die....
It promises a thing called par.... If I can hit straight and far...
To master such a tiny ball.... should not be very hard at all .
But my desires the ball refuses.... and does exactly like it
chooses....
It hooks and slices, dribbles and dies.... and even disappears before
my eyes....
Often it will take a whim... to hit a tree or take a swim....
With miles of grass on which to land... it finds a tiny patch of
sand...
Then has me offering up my soul.... if only it would find the hole....
It's made me whimper like a pup.... and swear that I will give it up...
And take a drink to ease my sorrow....
but the ball knows.... I'll be back tomorrow!!!