The Jailhouse

[sarals]

Ok... these are just some things I do that help me not to react to what others say... maybe you could use a couple of the ideas.

1) Always re-read through your post before you hit the Submit button. Don't be in a rush (I still get into trouble on this one).

2) Don't use words such as idiot, dumb, moron, ignorant, liar,... you can make your points without using inflamatory words.

3) This is the most important one for me personally. I try to be aware of how I'm reacting to another persons post. If I feel my blood pressuring rising, if I feel attacked or insulted, I step back for a few minutes. First I try to give them the benefit of the doubt that I might be taking it incorrectly and they did not have negative intention. I've noticed some people tend to take disagreement as a personal attack when that's not intended. Second, if I feel upset in the slightest bit, I note the post number and come back to it later when the rational part of my brain has had a chance to think it through. It's about brain physiology. There's the part of your brain that just reacts without thinking. This is the part that was very useful when a saber tooth tiger jumped out at you. But in modern days, that's the part that usually gets us in trouble. So often it takes a little longer for the rational part of the brain to process what's going on, especially if we feel angry or upset. Sometimes I even sign off for a while until I know I'm calm enough to respond or just plain ignore whatever it was that was imflamatory. What's great is that practicing this has helped me learn not to react as much in the first place.

4) Don't feel you need to defend yourself. If you know it's true and you've presented your facts, what else is there to say? Let others form their own opinions. You probably won't change another's mind by arguing with them. You only have control over yourself.

5) And remember what Matt is always saying... post about the stocks not about the posters.

I hope you don't feel I'm preaching to you. Obviously I've had to work on these same things myself.


Sara