Bob....keep up all the good work.
Hopefully, you'll never get the following complaint....
TECH SUPPORT
[Rumored to be a true story]
Help Desk: Tech support, how may I help you?
User: Hi, I'm having some trouble with WordPerfect.
Help Desk: OK, what sort of trouble?
User: Well, I was just typing a letter, and all of a sudden the words went away.
Help Desk: Went away?
User: They disappeared.
Help Desk: Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?
User: Nothing.
Help Desk: Nothing?
User: It's just blank, it won't accept anything when I type.
Help Desk: Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?
User: How do I tell?
Help Desk: Do you still have the window open? Or the C: prompt on the screen?
User: Huh? No, I'm in the den.
Help Desk: Umm... never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?
User: There isn't any cursor, I told you, nothing happens when I type.
Help Desk: Does your monitor have a power indicator?
User: Where's the monitor?
Help Desk: Ah... it's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?
User: I don't know.
Help Desk: Well then... look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?
User: Yes, I think so.
Help Desk: Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the outlet.
User: [Long pause] ...Yes, it is.
Help Desk: When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?
User: No.
Help Desk: Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.
User: [Long pause] ...Okay, I found it.
Help Desk: Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer.
User: I can't reach.
Help Desk: Okay, um... Well, can you see if it is?
User: No.
Help Desk: Well just lean over or kneel down on the floor to see?
User: Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark.
Help Desk: Dark?
User: Yes, the light is off, and the window is way on the other side of the room.
Help Desk: Well, turn on the light then.
User: I can't.
Help Desk: You can't?
User: There's a power outage.
Help Desk: A... A power outage? Ah... Okay, here's what you have to do. Do you still have the boxes and packing material and stuff your computer came in?
User: I think so, I keep them in the closet.
Help Desk: Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from.
User: Really? Is it that bad?
Help Desk: Yes, I'm afraid it is.
User: Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?
Help Desk: Tell them you're too damn stupid to own a computer.
