I'm not aware of any data that supports your contention that blue states are paying for red states welfare. If you post your data, I'll be glad to show you the holes.
You couldn't pay me to live in a blue state. There is an easy solution to solve this problem of what each state pays and what it should get back. On this matter, I'm going to agree with Ron Paul. Go back to the constitution. The only powers that should rest with the federal government should be those expressly granted by the constitution, and all others vest in the states. With a tiny federal government, each state would fund it's own programs. It's ludicrous for the federal government to collect my tax money to pay for a New York bridge.
Ultimately, the blue states will spend themselves into bankruptcy and need a bailout, as they did after the Revolutionary War, which is why the capital is Washington, and not Philadelphia, New York, or Boston.