A different take on a xmas classic, stolen from another board:
The Night Before Christmas
(with Apologies to Clement Clark Moore)
‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the land,
Investors all prayed that they wouldn't be scammed.
They had bought all their stocks, and their bonds and funds too,
With the hopes that their wishes and dreams might come true.
The Traders were trading to their little hearts' joy:
“Just one more play, and I'll buy that new toy.”
Then from down on the floor there arose such a clatter,
That I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.
And low and behold, what on earth did I see,
But a tax loss, and one just as big as could be.
It was pulled in a wagon all rusty and dark,
By the ugliest dogs that ever did bark!
It was yelling their names as it circled the floor,
And was dressed in a suit from second-hand store.
“On Sulja, on Petar, on ZNext and Pearly,
On Rufus the Dufus, you pitiful girly.”
It’s a canine design to cost us all money,
And frankly I don’t think it’s really that funny!
And so went the loss from one house to the next,
Ameritrade, Merrill, one and all would be hexed,
With lies and deceit, spreading fear and despair,
Leaving not one untouched by its withering glare.
From one coast to the other, across these great States,
The loss headed to Wall Street to try out its fate.
There it hit a brick wall, and stopped dead in its tracks,
“Go home foul loss; we don’t want your hacks!”
The dogs started whining and then started to grovel.
The loss had been Buffeted back to its hovel.
The moral you see, for investors to seize,
Is beware of the dogs, and watch out for their fleas!
Try BRK, Google, Walmart and more.
Your family will love you, your friends, you adore!
So now we can all go and gorge on our dinner,
With the knowledge that at least our wallets are thinner.
Please remember the spirit and partake in the cheer;
Merry Christmas to all, lets do better next year!
