Peritoy's views on money
As the worlds benchmark currency,the U.S. dollar has had the unfortunate historical distinction of also being the most stable.Interest rates will rise and fall,but around here the good'ole greenback will never get you more than 100 pennies,20 nickels or a big fat Susan B. Anthony.How boring!It's not an existence....it's a death sentence.
You are different.You are not your money.
Unlike your money, your value isn't printed on your face.What luck!Every day you are given the opportunity to decide how much your life is worth...how much it counts.Your karma is flexible,not fixed.Can a wallet full of Washingtons make the same claim?Not a chance.
You are not your money.You have a name,not a number.Behind your brokerage accounts there's a person.Remember?
Somewhere along the line,you forgot.Maybe it was when you only started looking at other people with dollar signs in your eyes.Maybe it was after a fund you picked got five stars from Morningstar.Maybe it was when you started looking at cab drivers while thinking,"I buy and sell guys like you."
But you are smarter than that.You are not your net worth.No matter what your bottom line is,there's more to your soul than Cisco or Home Depot.
You're the patience that waits in line at the post office.You're the empathy that can see the other guys side.You're the humility that couldn't answer one question on Jeopardy!,but enjoys watching just the same.
Your money wishes it had the freedom you possess.
The point is that money in the bank tells us what we have,not who we are or how we should feel about ourselves.And you are not your money.
You may have a neighbor that loaded up on the last hot stock,just before it's recent advance.You know this because he won't stop talking about it,taking every opportunity to remind you just how brilliant his stock picking has become.But a bit of good fortune doesn't change the facts.He's still the same jerk that hits his wife,makes jokes about Mexicans and never bothers to recycle the New York Times.By no stretch of the imagination does making a million make you a martyr,just as every poor person doesn't deserve a noble prize just for being broke.
Have you been dreaming of WAVX? Try MLK.You are judged on the "content of your character",not the size of your brokerage account.Having money is a convenience,but also a curse.It's too easy to pretend that purchases make the man.
So you stay at the Marriott instead of the Mercer.So your car is missing a crankshaft.BFD.You do many things money could never even think about,and the measure of your worth and self-esteem isn't correlated with the thread count of your sheets.
You are intelligent when you want to be,inquisitive when you care and helpful when the situation warrants.You are not your money.
Money can't bond with a friend over beers.It can't do cannonballs off the high dive or cut class for a ballgame.Your money just sits there-and the view from Account No.12345 ain't that damn grand.
You would like to try fly-fishing,and you hated The Departed.Your money didn't even see the preview.
You found Martha Stewart's IPO to be a sickening display-but not because Martha made a billion dollars.You actually feel bad for her.Imagine having millions of investors continually evaluating your own market cap?Right now,analysts are determining the worth and future profitability of her entire likeness and image.You don't need a buy recommendation from Bear Stearns to feel good about who you are.
So when did it happen? Think back.When did you start checking the funds in your 401(k)?When did you automatic portfolio tracker start telling you what kind of day you were having?When did you start surfing CNBC instead of Sportscenter?
The stock market,like many things in life,are decidedly double-edged.
The 401(k)phenomena,for example,has been heralded as a great thing."You are in control!" "You call the shots!"And while it is amazing that you can track your retirement tick-for-tick,it doesn't do much for your mental health.There was a time you couldn't care less what the market did.Now you wake up with coffee,bagel....and the S&P futures for goodness sakes.
Now jerks like me come along and remind you that if you "had only started earlier" you could have made millions more by now. Now Fidelity pops up in the middle of your web surfing,reminding you they've got 100 more ways to analyze assets.Now E*Trade sends you friggin'boxer shorts (did anyone else get a complimentary pair?)in hopes of corralling you into their online casino.Now a lack of interest in money seems....well,sacrilege.
Remember when you started learning the lexicon?"P/E ratio?" "Market order?" The cumbersome language has now become cool.You find yourself reading annual reports,glancing at the London gold fix.You are hooked.Secretly,you'd sometimes rather not even know.That Pandora thing really sucks,huh?
But you are not your money!You are an entirely different animal altogether.Peel away the portfolio for a moment.You will accomplish much more than just getting into MSFT in the single digits.
Money is annoyingly objective....but you are the perfect paradox.You are prone to impromptu air guitar solos,and make one hell of a margarita.You sang karaoke on a dare a would probably do it again.Your money can do nothing of the sort.
Your life won't be judged by the assets you accumulate.No tombstone is inscribed with a total return.When you remember good days with friends long past,it's the time you spent,not the dollars.Family trees aren't categorized by credit card.
Ultimately,you are whoever you want to be.Your cash just comes along for the ride.You are not your money.
Happy Holidays!
The other side
OK...
If you've ever strolled through town listening to a Walkman,you have experienced the feeling of great wealth.With headphones on you need not hear the panhandlers' varied cries for help.Your money doesn't solve the worlds problems.Rather,it gives you the choice to simply tune them out.
With money,you are who you want to be.It's the cab rides.It's the cell phone.It's the comfort of not really having to care.When you are at the top of your game,you are your money.
It is everything you have worked for.It is all of what you've ever wanted,all of what you have and most of what you'll ever have.If someone has left you something of meaning,it probably was money.Money mops up your medical bills and clears up your credit card debt.
It's your sudden interest in collectibles,in eBay,in fine art.It's your penchant for Pinot Nior and product requests from Rayban.
Your money is your mojo.It's your swagger.Your money is your politics,ethics and values.It's more than a little difficult to "put your money where your mouth is" when you don't have any.People without money usually don't have very big mouths.They can't afford to.
Your money is your knowledge.It is you magazine subscriptions and your data feeds.It's your high-bandwidth recipes,chat rooms,pornography and sports scores.
Would you like a dessert? A defibrillator? Another drink? A day off? Your money is about having that choice.If you are about the variety of life,then you are your money.Money is the right to just about anything.
When you can't talk,money will.When there's nothing to say,your money buys you silence.It buys you a window seat.It buys you a bottle of wine.In a private moment,you'd admit to being neither terribly talented nor special.It's what gets you in.It's what makes you right.Money is your only justification for everything that came before now.It's how you explain yourself in no uncertain terms.
Money is what gets you high.It's what defines you.It's what makes you turgid.It's what gives you the strength to get out of bed in the morning.
You are Dean and Deluca,not Denny's.You are Lepanisse,not the Lone Star Steakhouse.You are a controller of capitol,a mover of men.And unlike your marriage,your mother-in-law,your relationships or religion,money is something you'll never be tired of.
In New York City,a few years back,cops busted Liv Tyler's celeb-infested pot party and decided to stay for the fun.However,the dude caught stuffing a turkey under his coat gets roughed up on Rikers Island.You are not going to Rikers....not when you have money.
You are an intelligent,well-groomed,upwardly mobile,law-abiding citizen.You are this because of money.With money you are John Q. Public.Without it you are Public Enemy No.1.It is the fresh flowers.It is your kids clarinet lessons.
When you send it back or want it faster,it is because you are determined to get your money's worth.When you demand a refund,you demand it in dollar-denominated terms.Good karma won't cut it.
If you pay bills, you are your money.Your only right to have bills comes from your ability to pay them.
It's HBO,Skinemax and the Movie Channel.It's the book you bought from Amazon.com but never read.
It's what is behind your sudden lack of interest in the environmental movement.Why protect what we have....when we have so much? Money sucks your empathy for the sickly-after all,they're getting the best that money can buy.
Money is the answer to most any question you can think of.When you are in a jam,money gets you out.It is the online brokerage account.It's the new kitchen cabinets.
Time is money and you are a very busy individual.When you are out of time you are usually also out of money.
Money is the 401(k) you never thought of before 1997.It's Bloomingdales.It's Banana Republic.It's the next new thing from the next new catalog.It's your confirmation your communion.Like it or not your daily bread has a greenish hue.
With your $25 membership to the fine arts museum comes the silent smug of arrogance privy only to card-carrying supporters-financial supporters.If you love the arts,then you are your money.Fine art is there for those who can afford it.
Everyone in your life wants something,and most of them would prefer cash over everything else.With money you are a valuable commodity.When you have money you are someone worth wanting.You hate to wait on people,but with money people wait on you.
You are cultured and well coifed because of it.When the money runs out,so does your lifestyle.Money is what makes premium items de riguer.It's what makes downscale fashion upscale.
Your money is your respite.It's your fun.The things you like to do cost money.Without it, you'll have to find new things....or simply stop having fun.
Money is behind most of what you actually desire.For you it can be nothing more or less than everything that exists.It's everything that you are.Your intrinsic value can be rounded down to the dollar.You are your money!
Happy Holidays.
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