Guys, saw this and had to post it. It does have some relationship to the current market:
Sorry about your Rockies. As one pundit said, they did win 21 of their last 26 games! Thought I might try to ease your pain with a little original baseball/financial humor.
In a last ditch effort to keep ARod in New York, Merrill Lynch announced this morning that they have offered him the newly vacated roles of chairman and CEO at an annual salary of $40 million. Reporters immediately contacted superagent Scott Boras to verify the story. "It's true" Scott said, "and this offer combined with the $27 million per his Yankees contract finally has us in a salary range that we feel is appropriate for Alex's talents and statistics." When asked by reporters how ARod would make the transition from thrid baseman to CEO of a global financial services company, Boras replied "It's no tougher a transition than moving from shortstop to third base. You just get a good coach and take some extra grounders!"
Shortly after this press conference, Hank Steinbrenner announced that the Yankees have reached a tentative three year deal with beloved former manager Joe Torre to be the Yankees back-up third baseman next season. Hank told reporters that Joe will fill in for ARod when he can't play due to board meetings, analyst calls, shareholder meetings, etc. When reached at home, Torre confirmed the deal saying "This contract gives my family and me the financial security we were looking for. I can play until I'm 70 1/2, thereby deferring my need to collect social security until I reach the maximum age at which I have to draw benefits. And, by cementing this deal so early in the post season, I can start working with a personal trainer to get back into playing shape. I am optimistic that by the start of spring training, I'll be able to bed over!"
In other news, Steinbrenner also announced that Don Zimmer agreed to a five year deal to manage the Yankees. Hank was quoted as saying "Don gives us an important link to our history as we prepare to play our last season in Yankee Stadium and prepare to move into our new digs in 2009 as Don was born in 1923, the same year that Yankee Stadium was built."
