Found on another board - LOL! -
This is to announce that I will be doing Thanksgiving by myself this year. The menu will probably consist entirely of tomato soup. There are reasons for this.
My SO is in Florida these few days with her son. She has needed a break and also an opportunity to get the range of a teenager again.
The range of teenager's is, in my experience, a concept that needs frequent calibration ... daily even.
She is also looking to adopt an anteater.
Please understand I regard this as a good thing and cause for thanks. We are both suckers for animals. Her population includes 1 dog, 5 cats, 3 lizards, a chinchilla in waiting, many frogs she rescued from the pool and, if I read things right, a mouse no bigger than your thumb nail. (This means there can be MANY mice ... there's room. My menagere includes one dog with worry lines, two cats and an outside group that consists of 2,344,178.978,195 squirrels, 35 wild turkey, several hundred woods mice, 40 chipmunks, 6 to 8 raccoon (including one elderly gent on welfare) and 1 to 13 black bear (Ursus Americanus) ... depending if it's garbage day or not.
When we merge our households, we will make a feed dealer VERY happy. An anteater will fit right in.
I am thankful she and son will have some time together sans' son's peer group. I am also thankful there is an anteater in the offing.
I could have planned to go tho my mother's for Thanksgiving. However, a dental procedure indicates the tomato soup diet for a few days. This is also something to give thanks for.
I love my mother. My mother is also a cook of such blazing strangeness that the EPA has her on their Ten Most Wanted list. I recall the Thanksgiving she made cranberry sauce.
The result could best be described as sinister.
I have speant many holidays with my mother and her kitchen. I have also formed the habit of going by the drug store the day previous and stocking up on antacids, Pepto Bizmal, laxitives and, on occasion, purgatives. There is a definate downside to being an only child. You can't spread out the risk factors with your siblings.
This year was shaping up to be more alarming than usual. Earlier this month, my mother blew up a chicken.
As she explained it to me, she wanted roast chicken one evening. She also wished to get her hand back in for turkey to come. She does not know quite what happened. She went to the living room after putting the chicken in the oven. Suddenly, there were two loud explosions.
The oven door was blown open. There was grease smoke all over. So was the chicken.
I suggested that she may have gotten a suicide bomber chicken .. A Rhode Island Red perhaps .... A member of the chicken underground eager to avenge the horrors done its race.
She doesn't buy this but she still doesn't know how the chicken blew up either.If she buys a fowl again, I for one am calling Delta Force.
So you will understand my feelings of tearful joy when the dentist's secretary asked if I minded having having an appointment for an extraction this past monday. I HAD AN OUT!!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So tomorrow, I'll sip my soup, take my Advil and feel thanks and gratitude. No emergency room for me this year and an anteater to look forward to. Life is good.
AI
