Got this e-mail today and thought I'd share....
WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S.PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH? My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraqregime has been completed. Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete. This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq This action will be complete within 30days. It is now time to begin the reckoning. Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names ofcountries which have stood by our side during the Iraqconflict. Thislist is short. The United Kingdom , Spain ,Bulgaria , Australia ,andPoland are some of the countries listed there. The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Mostof the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will bedistributing copies of both lists later this evening. Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreignaid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely.The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay forthe costs of the Iraqi war. The American people are no longer going to pour money intothird world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat oncorruption. Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? CallFrance . In the future, together with Congress, I will work toredirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems westill have at home . On that note, a word to terrorist organizations.Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and allyour friends from the face of the earth. Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? TryFrance , ormaybe China. I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relationswithFrance , Germany , andRussia . Thanks for all your help,comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bon chance, mes amis. I have instructed the Mayor of New York Cityto begin towingthe many UN diplomatic vehicles located inManhattan with more thantwo unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will bestripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treatypertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaidtickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes,Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops inthe world. I love New York A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Sincewe are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks mightwant to try not pissing us off for a change. Mexico is also on List 2 President Fox and his entire corruptgovernment really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a coupleextra tank and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I amgoing to put 'em? Yep, border security. Oh, by the way, theUnited States is abrogating the NAFTAtreaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll bedrilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country'soil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist whoopposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a countryand move there. They care. It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and itsown citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them bysaying, "darn tootin." Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent lifearound the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just abouteveryone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger inAmerica Itis time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want tolearn to speak Arabic. God bless America . Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading itin English, thank a soldier.
