Rants and Raves

[cats]

A lonely widow, aged 70, decided that it was time to get married again.
So she put an ad in the local newspaper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME, AND MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.

On the second day she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened
the door to see a grey-haired
>gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or
legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow said.
"Just look at you - you have no legs!"
The old gentleman smiled, "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.
Again, the old man smiled, "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently, "Are you still good in bed??"
The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, "I rang the
doorbell, didn't I?"

The wedding is scheduled for Saturday.