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http://mlb.mlb.com/mlb/news/fab_fifteen.jsp

The Fab 15 bestows honorary membership as an entry on The Windy City, just for surviving a trying week. While Ozzie Guillen tried firing himself, Lou Piniella sounded like he wanted to fire his entire team. Sweet Lou, it's been done before, when Casey Stengel wondered 45 years ago about the Mets, "Can't anybody here play this game?"

Meanwhile, the bottom of the bona fide Fab 15 was a true puzzler, with no fewer than six teams ending the week two or three games below .500. We'd like to claim that our choices were based on true science ... but we can't.




Boston Red Sox
One of the new faces of this team is a steely glare: Mike Lowell is baseball's first six-tool player. He hits, has power, drives in runs, has a hot-corner gun, runs well enough and is a blocking back in the class of Lorenzo Neal.
Last week: 1


Cleveland Indians
Court or diamond, Cleveland owns Detroit. Tribe is 19-6 in The Vault ... er, The Jake ... a franchise best. Some lawyer friend must have told Paul Byrd a walk (zero in his last 43 innings) is now a capital offense.
Last week: 3


New York Mets
Actually, The Replacements. With all three starters injured, the Plan B outfield (David Newhan, Endy Chavez, Ben Johnson) helped them get through the week. And now Jose Reyes can unnerve Armando Benitez, back with the Marlins, a dozen more times.
Last week: 2


Los Angeles Angels
Professor Higgins says of Chone Figgins, "By Jove ... I think he's got it!" Besides the third baseman's bat, the Halos are also getting back Garret Anderson.
Last week: 4


Arizona D-backs
Randy Johnson appears to be doing fine on the Roger Clemens Plan. He has skipped the D-backs' visits to the last two cities in which he wasn't scheduled to pitch, but when he shows up he puts on a show (25 strikeouts, two runs in last 17 2/3 innings).
Last week: 8


Los Angeles Dodgers
Their best chance to keep up with the Friars' world-class pitching comes Tuesday, when Jason Schmidt gives it another go. His healthy and hearty return could tip the division's scales.
Last week: 7


San Diego Padres
Their staff ERA is more than a run below the National League average, keeping them atop a division setting up as a fantastic brawl. And don't think the three frontrunners have just been beating up on the NL West family: They're 59-32 outside of the division.
Last week: 6


Detroit Tigers
Saturday's comeback from that ghastly five-run ninth the night before spoke volumes about their Jim Leyland-inspired resiliency. The tough AL Central deals occasional lumps, but they'll be fine in the long run.
Last week: 5


Milwaukee Brewers
A bad week and a bad Weeks (Rickie, out with a sore right wrist). But it'll take a lot more than that to muzzle the bark of the NL Central top dog.
Last week: 10


Minnesota Twins
So what were the Sidney Ponson, Ramon Ortiz experiments all about, anyway? Kevin Slowey was an immediate rotation upgrade, capping off the Twins' rejuvenating week.
Last week: 14


Atlanta Braves
John Smoltz down and Chipper Jones out -– this would be a great time for Andruw Jones to step up. They've also been lucky to hit a soft part of their schedule at the right time.
Last week: 12


Seattle Mariners
Now that we can welcome Richie Sexson north of the Mendoza Line, one of the season's most pleasant surprises could still be on the rise.
Last week: 13


Oakland A's
They still make the Angels and Mariners nervous. Especially considering it has gotten little from Rich Harden, the rotation has been better than expected, making them a looming threat when the offense clicks.
Last week: NR


Philadelphia Phillies
Nope, Ryan Howard hasn't been the cure-all. They squandered a great chance to keep building momentum, and now must start all over again.
Last week: 9


Toronto Blue Jays
Doc, heal thyself: Roy Halladay's premature return –- he came back less than three weeks after his appendectomy -– couldn't have gone any better.
Last week: NR


Bird watch: Baltimore Orioles
One minute, Sam Perlozzo is on the hot seat, the next his club is just plain hot. The O's couldn't go pitcher-for-pitcher with the Angels (they're traditionally weak West Coast tourists), but their staff right now, with Brian Burres and Jeremy Guthrie the newest cogs, is better than most. Unlike with typical birds, the warning they sound is, "Look out above."