Ameritrade (fka AMTD)

[mokew]

I WAS JUST THINKING........

I was thinking about how the status symbol of today is those pagers that everyone has clipped on their belts. I can't afford one so I'm wearing my garage door opener.

You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.

I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!

I was thinking about old age and decided that it is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

I thought about making a movie for folks my age and call it "Pumping Rust"

I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease ....that's when your chest is falling into your drawers!

You know when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I'd like to say, "No, it's for company!"

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

Employment application blanks always ask who is to be notified in case of an emergency. I think you should write . . . . . . . . . . . .
A Good Doctor!!

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do . . write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older then it dawned on me . . . . .
they're cramming for their finals.

Did you ever pull into a filling station with a flat...and have someone ask " Tire go flat?" Tell them, "Nope, I was just driving around when these three just swelled up on me."


I was just thinking, MAYBE I should not be thinking!!!!