LB's - "the edited stock pit"

[Scad]

TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS-OLD SANTA WAS PISSED.
HE CUSSED OUT THE ELVES AND THREW DOWN HIS LIST.

MISERABLE LITTLE BRATS, UNGRATEFUL LITTLE JERKS
I HAVE A GOOD MIND TO SCRAP THE WHOLE WORKS.

I'VE BUSTED MY ASS FOR DAMN NEAR A YEAR,
INSTEAD OF "THANKS SANTA"-WHAT DO I HEAR?

THE OLD LADY BITCHES CAUSE I WORK LATE AT NIGHT
THE ELVES WANT MORE MONEY-THE REINDEER ALL FIGHT.

RUDOLPH GOT DRUNK AND GOOSED ALL THE MAIDS
DONNER IS PREGNANT AND VIXEN HAS AIDS

AND JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT THINGS WOULD GET BETTER
THOSE ASSHOLE FROM THE IRS SENT ME A LETTER

THEY SAY I OWE TAXES-IF THAT AINT DAMN FUNNY
WHO IN THE HELL EVER SENT SANTA CLAUS MONEY?

AND THE KIDS THESE DAYS- THEY ARE ALL THE PITS
THEY WANT THE IMPOSSIBLE - THE MEAN LITTLE SHITS

I SPENT THE WHOLE YEAR MAKING WAGONS AND SLEDS
ASSEMBLING DOLLS -THEIR ARMS, LEGS, AND HEADS

I MADE A TON OF YO-YO'S - NO REQUESTS FOR THEM
THEY WANT COMPUTERS AND ROBOTS - THEY THINK I'M IBM!

FLYING THROUGH THE AIR-DODGING THE TREES
FALLING DOWN CHIMNEYS AND SKINNING MY KNEES

I'M QUITTING THIS JOB-THERE'S JUST NO ENJOYMENT
I'LL SIT ON MY FAT ASS AND DRAW UNEMPLOYMENT

THERE'S NO CHRISTMAS THIS YEAR - NOW YOU KNOW THE REASON
I FOUND ME A BLONDE-I'M GOING SOUTH FOR THE SEASON!!!